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Re: Joke of the day...

PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 5:55 pm
by Billie Cowie
Bill and Ben are at work at the sawmill when Ben accidentally cuts off his arm. Thinking quickly Bill puts the severed limb in a plastic bag and drives Ben to the hospital.Next day Ben is in the pub throwing darts.
Boy, thinks Bill - that surgeon is amazing!
A few days later Ben cuts off his leg. Bill retrieves it, puts it in a plastic bag and drives Ben to Hospital again.
A week later Ben is playing football. Bill is really impressed this time.
Back at the sawmill, accident-prone Ben cuts off his head. As before Bill picks it up, puts it in a plastic bag and drives Ben to hospital.Next day the surgeon calls to inform Bill his friend Ben is dead. Bill replies-"You did all you could-don't blame yourself Doc ".
" I don't replies the Doctor-I blame you-if you had cut a few holes in the bag then he wouldn't have suffocated to death!"

Re: Joke of the day...

PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 12:09 pm
by Billie Cowie
A policeman pulls over a woman driver for speeding.
Woman " Can I help you officer?"
Officer " Yes, mam,- you were doing 80mph in a 40mph zone.I need to see your driving licence."
Woman " I don't have a licence. I lost it for drunk-driving."
Officer " O.K. in that case ,can I see your car-registration papers?"
Woman " No you can't, this car is stolen. I killed the owner and his dead body is in the trunk!"

Shocked, theofficer calls for back-up and minutes later there are five cars surrounding the woman's car.
An armed Chief Inspector approaches the car cautiously.
Chief Inspector " Open the boot of the car please Madam "
Woman, sighing, " O.K."
The boot is empty!
Chief Inspector " Is this your car Madam?"
Woman " Yes sir,-here are the registration papers" and hands him the documents.
Scratching his head, the Chief Inspector asks to see her driving licence, which she promptly supplies from her handbag.
Chief Inspector " Well Madam, this is a mystery, The police officer who called us told us you didn't have a driving licence or registration papers and that the car was stolen and the owner's dead body was in the car-boot. "
Woman " Oh yeah, - next you'll be telling me the lying bastard said I was speeding too. " :lol:

Re: Joke of the day...

PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:33 pm
by shwnvntr
Dear McDonalds cashier: don't give me that look ! There's no age limit on a happy meal. Sincerely, don't forget the toy !!!

Re: Joke of the day...

PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:34 pm
by shwnvntr
Officer, the only reason I'm speeding is because I'm late to work ... and stopping me for 15 minutes to give me a ticket is only going to make me speed even more so I’m not later !

Re: Joke of the day...

PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:36 pm
by shwnvntr
Has anyone seen my jacket? It's white, with huge sleeves, that make you hug yourself, with a cute belt.

that should make 3 posts.. thanks...

Re: Joke of the day...

PostPosted: Mon Apr 30, 2012 12:34 am
by shwnvntr
Thanks...
can someone help me out this jacket? :shock:

Re: Joke of the day...

PostPosted: Sun Jun 16, 2013 1:23 am
by smeterlink
I do not know if this qualifies as a prank, but you can watch StarWars on a shell !

Code: Select all
telnet towel.blinkenlights.nl

Re: Joke of the day...

PostPosted: Sat Aug 09, 2014 6:55 am
by attorneyriffic
Good joke. I like this joke.

Re: Joke of the day...

PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 7:06 am
by 1heyman
hi i am new user