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Joke of the day...

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Re: Joke of the day...

Postby pclinuxguru » Sun Aug 28, 2011 12:37 am

Blond jokes never get old . :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Joke of the day...

Postby rbyrd1 » Sun Aug 28, 2011 1:19 am

Typical Linux support
I had a problem with using my PPP connection through Linux. The data transfers were really slow sometimes but fine at others. I played with it for a while, then finally called the help desk. I was on hold for twenty minutes, then:

Tech Support: "Hi. How can I help you?"
Me: "Hi. I'm trying to hook up my Linux box via PPP, and I'm running into some problems. It works fine under 95, but I can't seem to get it to connect right under Linux. I can resolve hostnames and even --"
Tech Support: "Um, sir -- what kind of computer is it?"
Me: "IBM compatible. Specifically, an Ambra."
Tech Support: "Ok -- what happens when you try running Trumpet Winsock?"

I slap my forehead.

Me: "This is Linux. It doesn't run Trumpet Winsock."
Tech Support: "Oh - it's a DOS program?"
Me: "No. It's an operating system. Trumpet runs fine under 95."
Tech Support: "Well, have you tried running this program under Windows 95 then?"
Me: "No, it is an operating system. It doesn't run under another operating system."
Tech Support: "Oh. Ok, so what happens when you try to run Winsock under it?"

Murderous thoughts are going through my head. After a couple more exchanges back and forth, she finally understands that Winsock won't run on Linux for some weird reason.

Me: "So can I get an incident number so I can talk to a tech?"
Tech Support: "Sure. I just need to get some info from you."

She gets down my name, room number, phone number, computer type and brand, then we get interesting again.

Tech Support: "Ok, so is this under Windows 3.1 or Windows 95?"
Me: "Neither. It's Linux."
Tech Support: "Which type of Windows does it run under though?"
Me: "Neither! It runs on its own!"
Tech Support: "Oh!!! Oh! I'm sorry, in that case we can't help you. We only support Windows 3.1 and Windows 95."
Me: "WHAT?!?"
Tech Support: "Sorry. That's all we're currently supporting. Have a nice day." [click]
System 1: Ultimate Edition 2.9 x86 64bit kernel 2.38.2
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Re: Joke of the day...

Postby pclinuxguru » Sun Aug 28, 2011 1:41 am

Haha

True story here. Truth is I have heard it dozens of times now.

Client: I am having trouble with my Internet and email

Me: Ok who is the provider

Client: Google

Me: No who is your Internet provider

Client: Google. When I click firefox it says google

Me: About this time I am watching my gold fish and thinking to my self . Idiots all of them. Ok now think dip shi*

Me: Tell ya what, what is your email

Client: email?

Me: yes your email address

Client. Google

Me: Omfg silently - Just start team viewer and I will do it

Client: Team viewer ?

Me: Remote support we spent 20 min learning about

Client: We did?

Me: Applications Then Internet then team viewer

Client: I don't see team viewer

Me:You have to scroll down

Client: How do I do that

Me: Thinking to my self my door knob has more brains

Client: Ok think I got it

Me: Ok now I see your screen , show me were you go for your email.

Client: Starts firefox and shows google

Me: Ok not what I asked , what email do you have

Client: Google

Me: Puts gun to head

Me: Ok we will come back to that, what's up with the Internet

Client: It is slow, I start firefox and google comes up and it sits there for ever

Me: Did you type in a address to brows

Client: How do I do that ?

Me: thinking idiot silently

Client: I thought it does this all on it's own like on tv

Me: Well that explains a lot. Lol
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Re: Joke of the day...

Postby rbyrd1 » Sun Aug 28, 2011 6:35 am

Have seen similar more than once, lol. Sadly, there are many computer users that stupid and worse.
System 1: Ultimate Edition 2.9 x86 64bit kernel 2.38.2
Linux Mint 11 64 bit 3.0.0-9 kernel
BackTrack 5R1 64 bit
Toshiba Satellite Laptop
3 GB Crucial DDR
250 GB SATAII Western Digital
AMD Turion X2 64
ATI Radeon 3100

System 2: Ubuntu 10.10 Maverick ARM edition
HTC Glacier(T-Mobile MyTouch 4G) Android phone
Permarooted
Ice Glacier ROM
Overclocked to 1.5 Ghz
running Ubuntu through chroot and VNC

System 3:
HP Pavilion a305w
1GB RAM
2.7GHz Celeron
WD 160GB
WD 40GB
Intel onboard video
Ultimate Edition 2.9 x86 running kernel 2.6.38.1
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Re: Joke of the day...

Postby pclinuxguru » Sun Aug 28, 2011 12:20 pm

Edited and cleaned for the younger viewers

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

“Mother, where do babies come from?”

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and make baby honey.”

The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his thingy in the mommy’s thingy. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend.

“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s thingy in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”

“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
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Re: Joke of the day...

Postby pclinuxguru » Sun Aug 28, 2011 12:35 pm

Off to Vegas
A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.

'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', said the man.

'I'm going to Las Vegas', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!

'The man said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.

'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.

The man said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a year!'
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Re: Joke of the day...

Postby pclinuxguru » Sun Aug 28, 2011 12:47 pm

Low Sperm Count
A 70 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow." The next day the 70 year old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on - the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explains: "Well, doc, it's like this: First I tried with my right hand, but, nothing. Then I tried with-my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She - tried with her right hand, with nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She - even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth-out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next door and-she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" the old man replied, "yep, but no matter what we tried we couldn't get the DARN jar open!"
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Re: Joke of the day...

Postby TheeMahn » Sun Aug 28, 2011 5:31 pm

. Got a question? Please review the Browse the section.

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Re: Joke of the day...

Postby Meister » Mon Aug 29, 2011 12:58 am

<BREW> :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :mrgreen: its all good
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Re: Joke of the day...

Postby pclinuxguru » Mon Aug 29, 2011 2:01 am

Some theemahn twisted humor. :twisted:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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